I care about things that I defend. I defend what matters most. I pick my battles. I emphasize what is important. I do not defend all things equally for all things are not of equal importance.

I do not punish my child for spilling milk like I do for running into the street. Spilled milk is easily cleaned up. Running into the street gets one killed! Both are not of equal importance and should not be given equal value.

I only get upset over things that matter. I do not frustrate my loved ones. I do not want them to think I am fanatic and impossible to please.

So, I choose how I react. I measure each word. I emphasize most what matters utmost. I send clear signals as to what should be valued. I leave no doubt as to what should be defended. I communicate true feelings and true attitudes so others can know truth.

In so doing, this affirms to myself and to others who I truly am. And, this confirms what should be most valued and always protected.

I care about things. I care about things that matter. I define myself by defending these things I care about. Mostly, I must defend what matters in me: my borders, my boundaries, and my limitations. They define the good person that I truly am. They define my morals and ethics. They define me.

Were I to compromise these, I would cease to be to the degree that I compromise myself. I would cease to be what God intended me to be. I would become dishonest about who I truly am.

The person I truly am is not necessarily the person others need me to be. In fact, this may be the very reason others refuse to have a relationship with me. I must not change to suit their purposes or needs. I must remain the person I truly am.

If I compromise myself to keep a relationship, then I doom that relationship for I cannot long sustain the pretense. I will eventually be found out when I tire of the pretense and let the mask fall. Then, we will have to deal once more with the reality of who I truly am. I find it much better to be honest with others at the start.

I don’t make a good somebody else. I only make a good me. I am happiest being me. I am happiest being the person God made me to be. I am happiest even if all others reject me for who I truly am.

I pledge myself to be no one other than the person I truly am. I pledge to surround myself with others who will love, encourage, and appreciate the person God made me to be. For this is the person I truly am.

There is no "thing" evil of itself. Things become evil when they are used for evil. They are good when used for good as God intended.

The so-called “works of the flesh” are merely abuses of good things. Sex, for instance, is good with a ring and life-long commitment. But, outside of holy matrimony, as God intended between one man and one woman, it becomes evil. Fornication is never good.

The biblical term for sorcery originates from a root word that gives us the term “pharmacy.” Probably because sorcery once involved drugs. Yet, we know drugs and medicine heal when used properly! Used improperly and they destroy.

God created all things and said of his creation, "It is good." The good becomes evil when one determines to turn good into evil.

This is the source of many sorrows in relationships.

[This is not easy to admit. But, it is reality and I must live in reality. I desire the shadows no longer.]

I'm not by nature a very pleasant person. When God was not present inside me, I was very self-centered. I was very needy. For that reason, I was very demanding of others. I was not loving. In fact, I was almost incapable of giving and receiving love.

When God entered my heart, all that changed. When I finally admitted the truth that there is a God, he came into me. He changed me from the inside out! He blessed me. He did not harm me.

I began to seek him like never before. I began to study my Bible like never before. I became voracious in my appetite for him. I desired his presence more than I desired anything else! I wanted and needed him! I hated what I had become without him, pursuing selfish pleasures. I desired the peace and joy only he could bring into my life. I wanted that peace and joy that lasts more than ten or fifteen minutes. I needed it all day, everyday. He gave it to me as I stayed close to him.

When God came in my quiet times, nothing was the same. The world became a better place because I was a better person. He made me a better husband, father, man. I was more like him, loving, gentle and kind.

Yes, I have moments when I become afraid again. When I don't fully trust him enough to let him lead. But it doesn't take me long to come back again to him on my knees begging his forgiveness and asking him once more for his peace and joy. He comes. He’s always near. He's always ready to welcome me back.

He loves you very much. He desires you regardless whether you desire him or express a need for him. He keeps knocking on the door of your heart and asking if you will let him in.

That door is locked on the inside.

Misbehavior often is an attempt to get a legitimate need met through illegitimate means. When needs are met appropriately, often the misbehavior disappears. This is no guarantee. This is no excuse for misbehavior. This is merely an explanation for some misbehavior.

No person can entirely satisfy another person’s needs. There are simply too many physical, emotional, and spiritual needs contained in every person. Besides, the one attempting to meet all the needs of another must also, eventually, get his own legitimate needs met! (Just ask any mother!)

In the end, all must turn to God. He alone can satisfy our deepest and unmet needs! He alone is big enough and deep enough to meet the deepest needs.

He would never create another person to take his place in your life!