It was a long day at work. The children were very small. I was a Christian but mostly in name only. Still quite the jerk.

After dinner, I plopped down in my favorite chair intent on watching television, to tune everything and everyone out. It was MY time. It was MY TV. It was MY house. The children were running around and playing loudly. I shouted at them several times to quiet down and finally proclaimed,

“That’s it. EVERYONE TO BED!”

The children began to fuss. My wife came to enforce my most recent legislation and hustled them off to bed. I got up from my chair to go to the restroom and passed by the bed of my oldest in time to overhear a conversation she was having with her mother. I stepped in.

“You have something to say to me? If you have something to say to your father about your father, then don’t say it to your mother. Say it to my face. Do you have something to say to me?”(I told you I was a jerk.)

She began to cry. I continued badgering her. (She was five!)

“If you have something to say to me, young lady, then say it. Tell me what you were saying to your mother.”

In the softest voice, she said it. I was cut to the heart.

“We’re just little kids.”

Truth comes in many forms. Some of the strongest truths come from children. You have to be listening. You have to love truth and want truth in your relationships. These words did not change me immediately, but they hit their mark.

My grandparents had twelve children. My grandfather spoke to me long ago about disciplining children. I pass it along to you though I didn't do such a good job of following it myself. He said, “Discipline children for disobedience. Never discipline children for being children.”

The goal of all discipline is self-discipline. And, God disciplines those whom he loves.

In so many ways, we’re all "just little kids."

Violent storms on the Sea of Galilee were quite common, but this storm must have been terrible. It stirred deep fear in these experienced fishermen while the Master slept. They awakened him and he calmed the storm and the angry sea. He then asked them, “Where is your faith?”

Sounds a lot like a conversation I had in the middle of my life storm.

God: “Where is your faith?”

Me: “I think I lost it.”

God: “How did that happen? No one can steal your joy without your permission.”

Me: “What do you mean, Lord?”

God: “Do you still think you need them more than me?”

Me: “I thought I couldn’t live without them.”

God: “Can you live without them?”

Me: “I’m hurt. I want you to fix it. Can you fix it?”

God: “Will that bring you peace?”

Me: “Sure! I’m sick of crying. I want the pain to go away. Will you take it away?”

God: “Are you implying that MY peace comes in the absence of your pain?”

***long pause***

Me: “No, I guess not. I didn't have this pain before my life storm and I didn't have your peace.”

God: “Exactly.”

Me: “Are you saying you can give me a peace that no life storm will take away?”

God: “That’s why I’m here.”

Me: “I’m glad you’re here.”

God: “I never left.”

I think the Holy Spirit should come with a warning label: “CAREFUL: Truth inside!”

Don’t invite God in unless you are also ready for some truth to come in! LOL! When I first started listening to God, it was so painful facing realities he pointed out in me. The following conversation eventually came out:

ME: “Okay, Lord, enough with me! Let’s talk about her! My wife has some real problems you know. What are we going to do about her?”

HOLY SPIRIT: “You can’t change anything about her or anyone else. It’s MY job to convict the world, not yours. Concern yourself with you. Stay focused on me. If she NEVER changes, you still need to fix some things in yourself. If she goes or stays, you still have to live with you!”

I hate when he’s SO right! (Maybe that’s the problem people have with God because he’s always right. Hmmm.)

When I was a jerk, I advised my wife and children, “If all of you would just shut up and do what I say then everything would be great around here!”

They replied, “Maybe great for you, Dad, but not for us.”

OW! That hurt!

We visited a cave on our honeymoon trip…deep in the earth where no light visits. That is DAAAARK! Stay down there long and the light burns your eyes when you come out. Truth is the same. The longer you live in darkness the more painful truth is once it starts to seep in. Oh, and there is NO darkness so dark that it can snuff out the smallest light. (Think about that for about a year! LOL!)

God is gentle with me. He points out truth a little at a time. He doesn’t move on to the next until I appropriately handle the first. If I ask him to stop the process, he quietly goes away but with him goes my joy and my peace. I can’t live long without these. So, I invite him back quickly and start listening again. Joy and peace remain only where truth is allowed to reside. God is truth. God is love.

While living in painful truth I must avoid the temptation to judge others. Some are unwilling (or incapable) of living in pure truth. While living in painful truth everyday it becomes easier to recognize dishonesty. I must remind myself to be gentle. I must speak truth only with discretion and great love.

I think God should come with a warning label. Consider yourself warned! LOL!

In 1991, God made a major adjustment in my life. I was on a two-week mission trip to Prague, Czech Republic. On my first night there, while praying all night, God placed this clear impression on my heart:

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm a missionary, Lord."

“You’re no missionary. This is more about you than me. Go home.”

“Lord, a lot of people have donated money for me to be here. How will I explain if I return home after two days? I can’t go home, not yet.”

“Go home. Everything has changed. I have people here. They are listening to me. They don’t need you and your ideas of Christianity. My people here are seeking my face and doing my will. Go home and speak the message I will reveal to you. Go home!”

That next morning I attended a Christian fellowship in the basement of a downtown bookstore. This congregation was 200 members strong. They had 3 members before the Velvet Revolution. They emphasized pure Christianity but were getting tremendous pressure from Western institutions to “align” with a major denomination. I encouraged them to reject that idea and do as God had instructed them and told them he was pleased with them. (One year later I heard they had grown to a 1,000 members!)

I returned home the next day. It took me five years to figure out what God wanted me to do with my life. I kept an open heart and continued to make adjustments to stay in his will.

He wants YOU to seek his face! To seek his face you must believe that he “is” and that he rewards those who diligently seek him! Our nation was formed by men and women who believed they were doing God’s will. Life is not about us, it's about God. It’s about finding his will for our families, our churches, our communities, and our nation. God opposes the proud. Only a fool says in his heart, “There is no God!“ We cannot discover God until we get outside ourselves and our selfish endeavors.

God was right. I’m no missionary.

In junior high school I was in love with Peggy Addams. She sat one row over and two desks up. Every day she saved me a seat on the bus. Each recess we walked around the school yard holding hands. I carried her books to every class. We shared our lunches. There was one small problem. She never knew me. These things only happened in my mind.

Many of us relate to God this way. We know him intellectually. We speak OF him often but never WITH him. We don’t know his heart and he is never invited deeply into ours.

In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus says some persons at judgment will be surprised when he sends them away from God’s presence. They will protest, “We cast out demons in your name and in your name did many wonderful works.” But, Jesus will reply to them, “Depart from me...I never knew you.”

When my first child was small, I often teased her and made her chase me. It was great fun at first but she quickly tired of pursuit and finally would cry out, “Hold you, Daddy, hold you.”

God is not some imaginary friend. He is real. He desires intimacy with you. To know him, you must spend time with him. To know you, he must spend time with you. He loves to be pursued. More than that, he loves to be “caught!”

I think Peggy Addams would have liked me.