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My Guide to Loving Relationships
Tuesday October 18, 2005
The most popular world view is humanism. It states that there is nothing above human reason, and that, since we're all human, none of us can hold another person to our standard. It says there is no clear "right" or "wrong"; that each human must decide for himself what is in his own best interest and the best interest of others. Yet, what he sees as "right” today has the possibility of turning out to be "wrong” tomorrow for both him and others. Time lets him see the “truth” differently. His moral compass has no true north. The world view most popular in the United States is Judeo-Christian. One of its basic tenets is that there is a God who created us all and is all-knowing. As an all-knowing God, he decrees what is "right" and "wrong”. These decrees must be interpreted by “religious elite” for the masses. Their interpretations become traditional teachings over time and solidify into iron-clad moral precepts preached and enforced by denominations as legalistic, unattainable, perfectionistic, moral and ethical standards. They tend to promote a view that God doles out his approval (or withholds it) based strictly on “performance.” Yet, seeking to justify themselves by themselves, they are fallen from grace. God will judge them by the same law they use to judge others. This blog is first-century Christian. It promotes the idea of the one, true God who created all things; that he revealed himself in what he created and in Scripture, his true character and nature; that he visited earth as the man (Jesus Christ) while remaining God; that His holy character and nature is best seen in the life and teachings of Jesus; that his character and nature defines what is "right" according to his holiness and “wrong” according to what/who opposes or ignores his holiness; that he places himself (presence) in each person as they willfully submit to his authority and his “birth from above”; that his promised Spirit continues to refine his children until they can discern "right" from “wrong”; and, that he empowers them as children to do “right” and refrain from “wrong” as God would himself do if he were living in their skin. We are saved by grace through faith, not of ourselves, so none of us can boast. God’s true character and nature is the absolute standard of right and wrong. Jesus set aside his own wishes for what was best for all (the will of the Father). It led him down a path containing a Roman cross. The Christian life is often less rewarding (in a temporal sense) than the fast and easy standards of "whatever goes." It certainly is understandable that persons who do not wish to adhere to absolute standards resent those of us who do. This is the problem people have with me. It is the problem they have with all true Christians. They object to the existence of an absolute standard of right and wrong, to a standard that makes equal demands on them. Yet, these same persons who preach tolerance and say no one should tell another what to do, protest STRONGLY the standard I have chosen for myself! Why do they speak so strongly against this standard I and my readers determine to follow? They simply are intolerant of anyone who is right. | | | |
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Monday October 17, 2005
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it must be a duck, right? Not necessarily! What if you grew up believing a chicken was a duck! It would be understandable that you might accept a cluck for a quack but you would be mistaken! A chicken is not a duck! A cluck is not a quack. It irks me when someone questions my beliefs as a Christian based on some teaching that is neither Christian nor what I believe! The followers of Christ were called "Christians" first in Antioch (Acts 11:26). This word "called" has a divine connotation. In other words, it wasn't a moniker given to them by their enemies but possibly by God himself. It means "a follower of Jesus Christ." The early Christians believed Jesus came as God in the flesh; that he was born of a virgin; that he lived on earth among them in the first century; that he performed supernatural acts-miracles, sign, wonders-proving he was God; that he literally died, was buried, and raised himself from death according to Scripture; that he walked again among them for some forty (40) days showing many convincing proofs; that he ascended into heaven, was enthroned on the right hand side of God to rule in his kingdom; and, that he is returning someday to claim his own and punish those who refuse his authority. If one doesn't believe these things then he may call himself a Christian but he is not a Christian. You may call him a duck but he is still a chicken! You can think he is a duck but he is still a chicken! You may attack him as a duck but he is still a chicken. Go to the New Testament and compare him to a REAL Christian. Compare the counterfeit to the original. The difference will then be obvious! You can best learn about Christianity by studying the life of Christ and his closest disciples. Let Christ define himself and his followers! This is the only way to discover the original. Like anything else that man touches, true Christianity has been corrupted. The corruption started soon after it began. The New Testament was written to preserve the original for all future generations. It keeps us from mistaking a chicken for a duck. There are many post-modern counterfeits paraded as Christianity. When someone attacks one of these counterfeits believing they are condemning the original, well, that's when a cluck just became a quack! | | | |
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Friday October 14, 2005
After the fall of the Iron Curtain, I made several trips to Eastern Europe. I visited East Germany, Czech Republic, Hungary, and Romania. I visited with former Communists who were also former atheists. They revealed to me that under communism, while being told everyday that God did not exist, they were discovering God in mathematics, physics, cosmology, and in their familial relationships. Divine design became evident everywhere they looked. Intellectual honesty forced them to accept the reality of God. Once they admitted that God existed, they could then see further realities that had been hidden.
Scripture says that the truth about God is clear to all. The evidence is found in all that is made, even in man himself. The two attributes of God most plain are his divine nature and eternal power. Scripture further states that those who reject the evidence they see are willfully rejecting what they KNOW to be true! Denying God and living wickedly is a suppression of obvious truth. This is profound!
This means that man chooses to reject the reality of God because he simply doesn’t want to be held accountable for his actions. It means that man refuses to face the painful reality that he will one day answer for his rebellion; that he desires only to live as he pleases; that he WILLFULLY remains ignorant to the exclusion of other obvious realities; that he willfully enslaves himself to flesh; and, that he chooses to plunge hopelessly toward an inevitable demise. WOW!
We need only confess what we know is true to return home.
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Thursday October 13, 2005
He was sitting in a prison cell that night when the presence of God filled his heart. He knew immediately that God accepted him and that he was saved. A few weeks later one of the penitentiary guards called him over and asked:
Guard: “J. what’s happened to you?”
J: “What do mean, Boss?”
Guard: “You used to cuss every other word. I haven’t heard a cuss word from you in two weeks! What happened?”
J. realized that the night God saved him he also took away his bad habit of cussing. He related this story to me in his living room following his release. He was changed. He was completely changed. He had a new heart.
My salvation experience was quite different. I thought I had to earn my relationship with God by completing certain “steps to salvation.” I thought that I had to maintain that relationship to stay in God’s good graces. One slip, booooooom! God was going to get me. I was living a set of rules to have a happy marriage, a good life, and wonderful children. I tried hard. I did my best. I couldn't keep all their rules and laws. I was a miserable failure. I lived with constant guilt. Everyone else at my church appeared to be doing fine. Why was I the only one struggling? (I learned later they were merely proficient at covering up their failures! LOL!)
No ten-step program has ever changed a heart. New hearts are not handed out by some religious legalistic system preaching and enforcing rules. God alone makes hearts new. He does so based on faith in his Son, Jesus Christ, not on performance. Keeping a law system is impossible. Even if one kept it perfectly the change would be external, not internal; salvation would be an award, not a gift; and, glory would be ours, not God’s. Do you really think God wants a relationship like that? Neither do you, or I!
God alone determines who is “in” and who is “out” in relationship to him, it is not done by some legal code or self-appointed, self-righteous watchdog group. God judges man according to the condition of his heart. Man may alter his "outside" (actions) for a time but God changes a man INSIDE OUT.
God’s change is real. Man’s change is often only for “show.”
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Wednesday October 12, 2005
We all have inherent strengths and weaknesses. Our battles differ as individuals. One person fights anxiety and depression while another works hard to stay committed in long-term relationships. This doesn’t mean one is better than other, just different.
We also have inherent strengths. One person relates well with people while another relates better to tasks and systems. The relational person succeeds in sales while the task-oriented individual succeeds in accounting. It takes all kinds of persons to make a successful congregation or society.
These differences (innate strengths and weaknesses) can become flashpoints in relationships. A successful relationship learns to appreciate them and make full use of the strengths to improve the relationship. A successful relationship also learns to recognize and consider each other’s weaknesses. We should not have to fight our individual battles alone.
The problem is that we tend to hide our weaknesses from each other instead of confessing them. In churches (and in private) most Christians find it difficult to be vulnerable. This is not good. We cannot hold each other accountable if we are unwilling to reveal areas where we are weak. An army, congregation, or family is only as strong as its weakest member! We need honesty for accountability in loving relationships. We also need it for protection against our common enemy. We cannot achieve improvement unless we first recognize areas we need to improve.
Couples that have similar weaknesses may be blind in the same eye. That’s why it is important to get outside, unbiased help with problems as they arise. Couples who are more opposite can help one another. Where one is weak, the other may be strong. These “opposites attract” couples do not always appreciate the differences. What intrigued them about the other person initially (while dating) often becomes the source of great conflict later. You hear statements like: “Why are you like that? You are so weird!”
It is important to discover and appreciate our different strengths and weaknesses. It is equally important to support each other rather than criticize and belittle when weaknesses are confessed. The physical body (and spiritual Body of Christ) is made up of many different members. Each has a role to play. The hand should not say to eye, “I do not need you!” We need each other.
We also need to be more considerate of one another.
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