Those who know me and my family best usually ask how we manage such a successful relationship and three wonderful children. It’s a family secret, but I’ll share it with you.

My wife and I remain married and committed today for one reason: grace. No long term relationship survives without healthy doses of forgiveness. We try to deal with hurt immediately and honestly as it arises. Then, once the hurt has been dealt with properly and forgiven, we bag it and throw it out with the day’s garbage. Once dumped, it is not allowed back in the house. (Forgiveness like this is only possible when both persons understand how much Christ forgives them.)

Rearing children is always a challenge. We have three good children today because THEY choose to do good and BE good. Of course they make mistakes. So do we. But, we encourage each other to do what is right continually. We hold each other accountable when we do wrong. We insist that everything possible be done to correct a wrong. We hold each other to a higher standard. We deal honestly and truthfully with each other. We admit our mistakes, we apologize for them, and we take measures to correct them.

Our children are particularly blessed. They have two parents, one male and one female, who are dedicated to them, to God, and to each other. Anything else worthy of praise is to their credit and to God who is at work in them.

My greatest advice to anyone is to find God early in your life. Discover his truth, freedom, grace, love, joy, and peace. Seek God's presence constantly, his love and forgiveness. Once you receive his Holy Spirit, and are filled with him daily, then you can go out and seek a healthy relationship with another human being. Choose a lifetime partner of the opposite sex. Choose them prayerfully. Make certain they love God more than you.

Lastly, work hard. Relationships need loving, continual maintenance. Forgive quickly. Listen closely. Tune in to your spirit, your partner’s spirit, and to God’s Holy Spirit. Cultivate peace.

I was addicted to church. When I got away from organized religion, Bible studies, mid-week meetings, worship teams, I experienced withdrawal like any common addict. I discovered I was addicted to a culture of “churchism”.

Disconnecting from cultural Christianity, including years in professional Christian ministry, brought me to discover my own faith and role in Christ’s universal body. I stopped playing church to become Christ's church.

True Christianity is a community of believers following Christ into a lifestyle that imitates his own. It is a slow transformation into what Christ is by nature (Philippians 2:5-16; Colossians 1:19; Romans 8:19-21).

American Christianity is mostly a pre-packaged consumerist counterfeit. Being churched in the United States is mostly being a consumer of religious goods and services. You are expected to participate in church programs chiefly to receive and consume. The church takes responsibility for programming, coordinating, and providing what you need for spiritual growth. This is a shameful departure from what Christ intended!

Being Christ’s church requires me to take personal responsibility for learning directly from Christ and his Holy Spirit. Jesus did not promote (nor create) some human organization. His church is more organism than organization. He opened “The Way” for all to enjoy a personal relationship with him and God. He provides his Holy Spirit and spiritual gifts to each believer. He instructs all while we enjoy mutual intimacy with each other and God, Matthew 11:27-30. The true community of Christian faith spurs one another to love and good works.

I still worship with other believers, but I worship as an individual and daily follower of Christ. I worship with others who are themselves priests. I worship out of the overflow of a daily walk with God. I worship more like "living room" than liturgy.

Christ is the only source for living the divine life. True Christians follow Christ alone. They learn personally from him. They shoulder responsibility for working out their own salvation. They never permit community or personal conscience to dictate how they should worship or follow Christ.

In Christ, he alone is our head. In Christ, we follow him into his life. In Christ, we abandon all modern versions of culture’s Christianity.

The term “church”, as we use it, is unbiblical. The word in English translations replaces three different New Testament words: “congregation”, “assembly”, and “called-out” people. None of these describe what one today envisions when he hears “church”.

New Testament churches are people, not buildings! New Testament churches have living room-style worship, not liturgy! New Testament churches are a local expression of Christ’s body with Christ as the head and members exercising spiritual gifts handed out by the Holy Spirit. This is explained in Ephesians 4 and ignored by the clergy-laity system.

When a local body of believers hires a paid professional staff to do the “work of the church,” they become “consumers of religion”. They are not taught to discover and use THEIR spiritual gifts in the community and assembly. Modern churches are stone and glass.

When ministry is left to professionals then members lose their spiritual gifts and their unique role in the body of Christ. They are relegated to a role of inviting the world to a building to hear a pastor’s sermon. Worship deteriorates into a Sunday-morning spectator sport. Sort of like a Sunday football game: twenty-two men down on the field playing the game, desperately in need of rest, and twenty thousand in the stands desperately in need of exercise!

Post-modern culture sees little benefit in fasting. Many of my work associates think I am extreme when I skip a few meals to be with God, particularly days of meals! Yet, fasting has worked marvelously when I desire intimacy with him.

There’s something about fasting that increases spiritual awareness. It amplifies God’s Spirit in me. It amplifies my spirit. I must exercise caution for it also opens the door to the whole spirit world. Remember, Jesus’ strongest temptations came during a forty day fast.

There are all kinds of fasts. It helps to get a book on fasting. It also helps to consult your personal physician before attempting a fast of any length. My digestive system restricts me to about three days on liquids. My fasts most often consist of a first day of only water, the second is juice, and the last is water again. Or, I’ll do juice, water, and juice. Then, I return to small portions of solid food.

On occasion, God takes away my appetite completely. These are wonderful times when I feel particularly close to him. It must be some of what Jesus felt in John 4 when he refused food by saying, “I have other bread to eat that you know nothing about.” These times I literally lose my desire for food. I desire him. I desire spiritual food. (Share your personal testimony if you experience something similar.) I call these God-imposed fasts. You'll find no diet like this. HA! It is absolutely the best way to lose a few pounds! LOL!

The first time I remember losing all desire for food, I thought it was a case of nervous stomach. I had a presentation to give at work. Prior to it, I lost my appetite for several days. After I gave the speech, that next morning, I was out jogging when God spoke to my heart.

“You don’t have a nervous stomach." he said, "I removed your desire for food to impose a fast. I’ve been trying to get a personal message to you for days. It is an answer to one of your prayers.”

I wept. I was so choked with emotion I could not speak. When I returned to the house my wife asked if I was okay. I motioned that I was fine and needed some time alone to figure out what God was trying to say to me. I took a long, hot bath where everything became clear. Afterward, I explained it to her. We were both amazed by God’s love. We were amazed that he cared enough personally to impose a fast to communicate a personal message. It is not the only time he has done this for me. I am still amazed each time.

I am no exception. God seeks intimacy with all his children. He so strongly desires you that he will clear a path of your fleshly obstacles to speak to your heart. Did you lose a significant relationship recently? Maybe now you know why. To hear his message for you, purify your heart. Make your heart an open door to him. Get alone and listen intently. Seek him sincerely. Seek him constantly. Place your desire for him above all other relationships, above all other desires.

He's coming to a heart near you. He's coming to you. He is gentle. He is good. He is kind.

God told me in a dream last night you were coming. He knew you would read this. He knows you are hurting. He knows and he cares.

In your pain, you have a question for him. He has an answer. Place your genuine question in the comments section of this message. Someone will answer you sincerely.

This is serious. This space is reserved for you. Do not doubt. God is real. He is near. He loves you.

May God bless you as you seek him and draw near to him.