Some persons love to fight. Others hate to fight. The fact is that sometimes we need to fight. We must defend ourselves against those who would use us up for their own causes. We must take a stand for what we believe in and know is right.

To stand up for myself is not a selfish act. It is self-preservation. Jesus struck a crowd with blindness when they attempted to take him by force and make him a king. You must stand up for what you believe. You must stand up for what you legitimately need. You must stand up for who you are. It is expected of you. It is expected in healthy relationships.

My neighbor and I jointly own a fence running between our property. It is right on the property line. If I allow him to constantly move that fence and take my property, I would be telling him it is okay to take what is mine! I have a right to defend my property line.

It is also right (and expected) of me to defend myself. If not, others may use me up until I cease to exist. Each time I do not speak up in defense of myself, my energy, my money, my time, my ethics and my morals I am telling others these things are not important to me! I am also telling myself I am not important as a person. I tell others who I am by constantly defending my boundaries, my borders. That’s how I affirm to them and myself who I am! If I continually compromise who I am, I give away a piece of myself each time! I lose self-respect. I lose respect in the eyes of others.

I must stand for what I know is right. I must defend what is mine. It may cost me a fight, but there are some things worth fighting for. There are some things worth dying for. I am one of those precious things!

So are you!

Here are some rules concerning the healthy expression of anger:

1) Be angry, and sin not. This means anger is okay. Sometimes anger is the only proper response to a situation. It's okay to be angry, but do not sin in your anger.

2) Be angry, but no hurting yourself or others. Destroying property when you are angry is not permitted, even your own property. Find a way to express your anger in constructive, not destructive manner. I usually suggest a punching bag. A plastic baseball bat used to beat up your bed is also okay, but put the bat away when you are done. Also, straighten up the bed.

3) Be angry, but don't let the sun go down on your wrath. Get rid of your anger by the time the day is over. Anger, if it is allowed to remain in the heart, can become bitterness. Bitterness, left in the heart, can turn a heart to stone. Don't let anger leave you with a bitter and uncaring heart.

Always express your anger in a healthy way to keep your heart soft and tender.

We say hurtful words without even knowing we caused terrible harm. We hurt those we love unknowingly. How do we cause such harm to hearts and spirits without even realizing it? Two ways: 1) not paying attention while speaking, and 2) the listener not speaking up while we are hurting them with our words. Allow me to explain.

I have done terrible harm with words to my children and to my spouse, at times, because I spoke without considering them as a person. God says, “Consider how to answer every person.” Each person may deserve different words; different inflections; different phrasing. My volume may have to be adjusted to fit certain persons. I cause harm when I don't consider God’s gentler spirits. I cause harm to soft souls using words I should reserve for stouter hearts. I speak words like a gunslinger sprays bullets. Like bullets, words cannot be rechambered once they have left the end of the barrel. Thus wounded, the person may never completely heal. I need to think BEFORE I speak, and be considerate of each person.

Another way I cause extreme harm with words is by not paying attention to how the person is reacting AS I speak. I should watch their reactions to my words. I should ask for clarification of signals I do not understand. Lifted brows and drooping shoulders should say something to me. I should become proficient in reading body language in the other person. I should care enough to watch them for signals sent that I do not understand. When they send a signal I do not understand, I should stop speaking, and ask:

“What was that I just saw?”

Or, “What’s wrong? Why are you so sad?”

These subtle hints are often coming straight from the soul, unknowingly, from the other person. I have to pay attention, and pick up on these. They may be revealing something. I must allow this two-way communication while speaking. That is loving communication. I should not let one subtle hint escape my notice without acknowledging it, and, if necessary, ask for clarification when the message if their response is unclear.

To the person I've harmed, I have one thing to say: Speak up! Please express yourself. Do not let me wound you deeply with words and say nothing! If I hit you in the face with my fist, I would expect you to react in some way. If I get no reaction, I lose respect for you. Do not allow me or anyone else to cause you deep harm, and sit there motionless. Speak up when I wound you with my words. Seek healing then and there by telling me I hurt you. If you do not, your wound may fester inside you. It may become infected with bitterness, and your heart get cold toward me. I don't want that. I love you. Besides, I may not realize I have harmed you. I can't read your mind. I may have missed your subtle body signals. So, I beg you, SPEAK UP!

Communicate your hurt. If I do not listen, bring someone with you who also loves me and talk to me. If still do not listen, bring the church leaders. If I still do not listen, remove yourself from me. Take the children with you! Tell me you cannot be around me until I cease to harm you. Do not stay in an abusive situation with me. I beg you. I love you too much. Do not allow me to harm you further.

I'm sorry that I shot you with my words. Please forgive me.

Take a look at the back of your computer. These are interfaces. Have you tried to plug your printer into your monitor port? It won’t work! How about your mouse into your keyboard port? It may plug in, but you won’t get the results you desire.

Your spirit searches you and reveals the deeper things about you. No one knows you like your spirit knows you. Listen close and you will hear the truth. Plug into it. You will begin to discover your true self; your inner self; your real self; your eternal self. It is through this spirit that God will reveal himself to you.

God is spirit. The Holy Spirit searches the deep things of God. He reveals God to our spirit, if we are of God. God encourages us to worship in spirit. We are also to pray in spirit. We’ve got to learn how to interface properly with God. Once connected, we have to make certain it is God we are plugged into!

Learn about Jesus, his teachings, and the other teachings in Bible that reveal God. Know Jesus and God well. Test each spirit. Otherwise, you may be interfacing with the wrong one! You won’t like the results.

Remember, it's all about the fruit!

Stanley Tookie Williams was executed today for murdering four persons. His pump-action shotgun tied him to a pair of armed robberies and killings in 1979. Williams apologized for founding the Crips gang. Williams maintained his innocence while also claiming he had redeemed himself in prison by writing children’s books discouraging them from joining gangs.

"There is no part of me that existed then that exists now," Williams recently said.

Regardless, he had to die. Williams was tried, convicted, and punished. The evidence stood up after years of reviews and last minute appeals. Maybe he was innocent. I don’t know. Our justice system is not perfect. It is one of the best man has conceived. Williams is dead because law demands justice.

Under law, there is no mercy. There is only crime and punishment. In Christ, there is mercy and grace.