I was reared to be polite. I was reared to respect adults and those in authority over me. I was taught to say, “Yes ma’am” and “No ma’am.” I was taught to say, “please” and “thank you.” I was taught to remove my hat in a building and in the presence of a woman. I was taught common respect and courtesy.

There were six of us children, four boys and two girls. Dad worked all the time so Mom had to have us under control when she went out to visit or run to the grocery store. She insisted on our best behavior in public! If not, Dad would remedy the situation when he came home that night. We straightened up immediately. We much preferred her whippings to Dad's, any day! Dad whipped hard! But, his beatings never left us scarred (inside or outside)! Merely scared! They put the fear of God in us!

There is one occasion still in my memory that was often typical when we visited a home. It was right after church one Sunday evening that we had gone to this home where there were no children. Dad went into the kitchen to play dominoes. Mom sat in the living room to visit with the lady of the house. We were lined up on the couch and told not to move. We sat there obediently, quietly.

It wasn’t long that the lady became uncomfortable with our situation. (Note that WE were not uncomfortable. SHE was uncomfortable! Interesting.)

The lady finally asked mother, “Can I get the children something to eat, drink or play with?”

“No, they’re fine,” Mom said and continued visiting. The lady tried again.

“Well, could I at least turn on the television for them to watch?” she begged.

“Sure, that’ll fine. But, they’re really okay.” Mom insisted.

We watched television until we fell asleep on each other’s shoulders.

Some today call this child abuse. It was actually training in self-discipline, respect and courtesy. It pains me today to see young mothers who can go nowhere in public with their children. They are constantly yelling at their kids and children yelling back at them when often only a swift swat in the seat of the pants would fix the situation with no words necessary.

The goal of all discipline should be self-discipline. All discipline is unpleasant while it is being administered but, afterwards, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness, respect for others and self-respect.

It was an old-fashioned meat counter in a small neighborhood grocery store. We specialized in personal and friendly service. I was seventeen and occasionally worked behind the counter as a butcher. The head butcher was a particularly likeable man. He was the absolute professional. He treated everyone courteously and professionally no matter how rude some customers were to him.

We had this one particular customer that fascinated me. He was the consummate grumpy old man. Every employee in the store dreaded waiting on him. He complained about everyone and everything. He cursed the service, the out-of-stock items, and the freshness of the produce. He swept through the store like a tornado! Everyone was upset by the time he exited the front door. One of the check-out ladies would either be crying or cursing.

This day, at the meat counter, he was complaining, cursing and barking his meat order to the head butcher. In the middle of one of his particularly loud tirades, I looked up at him. I stared at him and he winked at me! In the middle of a fit of rage, he winked! I kept staring at him. I couldn't believe he winked. Then, he gave me a half-smile. That smile convinced me! I knew immediately what was really going on with this old man.

It was an act! The old man was acting angry and upset. This was how he chose to interact with others in public. It was the mask he had chosen to wear. It was how he wanted to be known in this little town. Maybe it was the only way he knew how to relate. Regardless, he seemed to enjoy every minute of it. So, I decided to disarm him and throw him off his game. The next time he came in I was ready.

He came in as usual. I could hear him up front raging as usual. He came down the produce aisle right for the meat counter. He stopped at the counter and started in on how badly the meat looked in our display. I just smiled at him. No matter what he said or his volume, I smiled. He was totally disarmed. In a short time, we were conversing normally. From then on, his demeanor changed around me in my department. Sometimes, he was downright pleasant. After that, I looked forward to his visits.

The other employees didn’t understand. I tried to convince them to treat him differently. They wouldn’t listen. I was seventeen! What did I know? I knew that I expected him to be nice and he was. I knew that they expected him to be angry and upset so he was. He gave each person exactly what they expected.

I think some persons live down or up to our expectations. We should expect more. We should expect better behavior. We should insist that inappropriate behavior is unacceptable around us regardless how they may choose to act around others! We can refuse to relate their way!

Not that we can change anyone, but we do have the right to set the rules for how we choose to allow others to relate to us.

I sort of miss the old guy.

We've all had bad days! Sometimes we just need to complain and gripe a little. In a family unit, though, when one is having a bad day everyone is impacted. Especially if Mom's the one having the bad day!

When we took a particularly long trip, as a family, the children would often tire quickly and become restless. The whining and complaining would start from the back seat! I would allow it for a time. Eventually, I had to step in and stop it or it would escalate!

"The time is now 11:15. The family complaint department is closing in ten minutes! Please place all complaints with our representatives at this time. The complaint department will be closing promptly at 11:25. After that time, we will be receiving no more complaints for the rest of the day! So, let's hear them. Everyone. Go!"

This announcement was often followed by immediate silence. I would look in the rear view mirror. The children would look at each other. Everyone would realize what had been happening. Smiles would break out. We would all laugh. We had an enjoyable rest of the day.

All things have their season. Then, the season ends and joy returns. Mumbling and complaining should have a particularly short season.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king’s horse and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again.

Why do we assume Humpty is an egg? Why could Humpty not be trust? Trust is fragile. Once broken, trust is impossible to put back together again. Eventually, it may be regained but the relationship will not be the same once trust has been shattered.

Whether a parent, child or spouse, please maintain the trust others have in you. If you truly love another, trust them unquestioningly. Friends, family members, and spouses must be trusted beyond question. Never doubt them without first-hand proof. Give them the benefit of every doubt.

Trusting is not blind loyalty. Trusting lovingly is appropriate until adequate reason to believe differently. Love does not seek out wrong. Love is not easily offended. Love trusts. It is loyal above all else and trusts unquestioningly. Bring no doubt into your relationship because of your insecurity. Do not doubt without sufficient and adequate proof for doing otherwise.

When trust is truly broken, it can only be regained by trusting again. Sufficient time should be given for grief over lost trust. Lost trust is worthy of grief. But set a date for your grief to end. Then trust completely again. Continue to trust, unquestioningly. Resist the temptation to investigate. This will be difficult. But, you must trust again if you actually wish the relationship to continue and survive.

If you are one who has shattered trust, realize that trust will not return instantaneously. Trust must be earned daily through consistent trustworthiness, absolute loyalty and total honesty. The person whose trust you violated will have questions. You must answer all of them honestly and completely. Do not view their questioning as questioning your loyalty or trustworthiness. These should be merely for clarification so they can trust again. The more honest and open you can be with them, the more quickly trust will return.

Trust is absolutely essential for healthy relationships. Treasure it. Protect it.

Why was Humpty on top of that wall? If it was an appropriate and necessary wall, he should have stayed behind it! Or, used the gate!

Christians see three causal factors in this world: God, Satan, and man. These three have powerful forces behind them. God has an innumerable number of angels of light and truth. Satan has legions of evil spirits. Man has free will.

Man vacillates between these forces. When choosing God, he impacts the world in opposition of evil. When choosing sin, he aligns opposite God and nature. When man exercises free will, he is capable of tremendous good and one choice away from horrible evil.

Christ came as a man. He conquered sin and death. His chief obedience was to His Father in heaven. His chief work was the redemption of man. His greatest dispute was with the religious elite who continually questioned his authority to cast out evil and forgive sin.

As to nature and so-called natural order and laws, Christ shows absolute dominion. Thus, as Christians, we reject the theories of men about impersonal, unintelligent and accidental causes for what is observed. We see God the Father, His Son, and the Holy Spirit as the force behind all that is good. We see the adversary as the force behind all that is evil. We join the fight against the spiritual forces of darkness.

When someone speaks of impersonal causes of things, happenings and changes in this world, limiting God's power, ignoring powers of darkness, and despising our role and significance as men, we reject it! Scripture teaches nothing about an impersonal and blind accidental cause. We choose to side with the teachings of our personal God.

We make no concessions to the secular or scientific theories about an impersonal, unintelligent, unintentional or accidental cause in this world or the universe. Christians see through the screen door of the physical into a spiritual realm. We seek true causes for all happenings. We seek a personal Causer.

Those who reject the idea of God call us mystics and our faith mysticism or superstition. Yet it is nothing other than a deeper insight into spiritual realities, or intelligence which personally causes what is happening. This Causer uses natural things and elements as instruments, tools, channels, symbols, or signals.

Our chief fight here is not against natural and physical adversities. These are wrestlings (more befitting of animals). We see the more significant battle, "Against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world", (Eph. 6.12)

We Christians are, and shall ever be, victorious over the satanic forces through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Why through Him? That’s easy. It is because love is greater than all other forces, seen and unseen.

Christianity is not so much about principles, rules and precepts, but primarily one of personal attachments. Our first affectionate attachment is to the person of our Lord Jesus and then, through Him, to the other members of His church, living and dead. These relationships will far outlast all that is natural.