God loves me, unconditionally. Of this, I am certain. But, his unconditional love does not tolerate my unfaithfulness forever. His covenant relationship is like a marriage.

Can I live unfaithful to my spouse and expect my marriage to last? Likewise, can I live apart from God and expect him to live with me in eternity?

A loving parent disciplines his children. God will do no less. For God loves no less. God loves even more.

God will punish sin. Love demands it. Unconditional love demands it even more.

Dad had 11 siblings. My grandfather and grandmother had a lot of experience in raising children. Some thought them harsh. As I approached adulthood, I sought their advice. My grandfather wisely spoke when he said,

"Never discipline your children for being children. Discipline your children for disobedience."

As parents, we get frustrated with our children simply for being children. Why do we expect them to behave as adults? Why does it surprise us when they act like children or make really stupid decisions? We shouldn't be surprised. Nor should we be unprepared.

We must offer consistent and appropriate rules, boundaries, and limitations. We should be prepared to offer appropriate discipline. We should always make the punishment fit the crime with respect to the age of the child. We should always discipline disobedience.

Children need to hit the same wall each time they wander off the reservation. They need to know we care. Appropriate and consistent discipline is one of the greatest expressions of love.

Jesus learned obedience by the things he suffered.

God disciplines those whom he loves.

I firmly believe one cannot form a healthy relationship with another human being until one first forms a healthy relationship with God. There are many things God provides that a person can NEVER provide. He fills us in ways no human can. He fill us to depths that are not humanly possible.

We give to others out of the abundance and overflow we receive from God, spiritually and emotionally. If we do not know God, we have little to give away. We cannot provide to others what they desperately need. We especially cannot provide it at levels they need if that other person is particularly needy! Regardless how much we are capable of giving, it is always insufficient to overfill. God alone fills another to overflowing.

It's a lot like eating. Once we eat and are full we aren't completely satisfied. Soon we hunger again. God alone fills and satisfies for weeks, at the deepest levels. There are times we are so full of God (and satisfied) that we absolutely have no need either for the company of others or for food!

Maybe this is what Jesus means when, in John 4, he tells his closest disciples, "I have food to eat that you do not know about." Now, that's kool!

Fill me to overflowing, Lord, so that I might overflow to others! And, also so I can drop a few pounds!

I left the house arguing with my wife again. Our marriage had reached critical mass. Where it would go from here was anyone's guess. We hadn't exactly turned ourselves and our marriage over to the Lord. We had been trying to use each other to meet our own needs and private agendas. We had made a marvelous mess of it all. It was time to get real. I had left the house to go to work. But, I found quickly that I couldn't work.

So, I picked her up from her work in the middle of the day. We drove to a secluded location to talk. We had to talk. The whole world had to stop or what was the use of going on? Nothing mattered at this point except resolving our marital problems. We were both hurting terribly. Everyone and everything else would have to wait.

I remember the words so clearly.

"If you knew who I truly was, you wouldn't love me or want to be married to me anymore."

She simply replied, "Try me."

That was the first day (and the first time in my life) I remember getting honest about who I was with anyone. We began to get honest with ourselves and then with each other. It wasn't easier immediately but we did begin making progress.

I believe every relationship, whether with God or a human, has to start at some point to get honest. Truth takes Satan out of the relationship. He hates truth and light. He runs from it. From that point on you can begin to deal with each other and start working on real problems.

Try it tonight with your spouse. Just try getting honest about one thing. But, remember, speak the truth in love and always first examine your motive. Sometimes absolute honesty can do more damage than good. Make certain that others will not be harmed by your ruthless honesty!

He sat opposite me. His head hung low. Tears flowed freely. I offered him a tissue. He wiped his tears on his sleeve.

“Why are you so upset?” I asked.

He looked out the window and sobbed,

“I want…I want it to be…to be like it used to be.”

"And how did it used to be?" I asked. He explained. I listened. Then, I brought him back to reality.

“You know now that wasn't real. You know she wasn't real. She was only pretending to be what you wanted her to be because she was afraid of losing you. She told you that. She also told you she is unwilling to pretend any longer. She is miserable being someone else. She is unwilling to lie to herself or you any longer. Knowing all this, will you still insist she lie?"

As reality began to sink in, I continued.

"You must accept who she is. She apologized to you for lying all this time. She apologized for pretending to be what she is not. We cannot go back. We must live here and now. The past life is over and done. Will you live with us in the present reality with those who still love you? Will you accept her real love or continue to insist on the pretense?”

The words hung like a fog. I let them hang there. Then, I went on.

“She can’t go back. You can’t expect her to go back. That person is dead. Grieve that if you must. But, eventually, come to grips with the fact it is gone. Live and love in reality. Accept her love because it is now coming from a pure and true heart.”

Eventually, he replied.

“I’ll try.”