Someone once said something like this to me: "I don't desire wealth or recognition. I don't need a mansion. I just want a normal life."

What is a "normal" life? Is there such a creature?

When life happens, life can be horribly cruel. Terrible things can happen to us here, for several reasons. Let's look at some:

1) People can victimize and use us. Sweet and tender souls can be treated horribly simply because they are sweet and tender. There are people here who are not sweet and tender, they are cruel. Even children can be pitifully cruel to other precious children. Such is life.

2) This world and its natural forces like tornadoes, wildfires, and hurricanes can destroy lives and property. This is a violent place even if no man were present, regardless whether you are a Christian or not. Such is life.

3) Accidents happen. A building collapses and kills innocent person walking by on the street next to it. A tired college student falls asleep driving home for the weekend and kills himself and a family in the other car. You dive into a swimming hole and hit the bottom breaking your neck, paralyzing yourself for life! These things happen all the time and have nothing to do with anything else. It is simply an accident. We're all human. We cause great harm accidently to ourselves and sometimes to others from our careless actions. Such is life.

4) Satan always is at work here to destroy personal lives and relationships. We are in his territory, his domain. He wishes none of us good, only harm. He opposes all good. Without God's supernatural help and power, we CANNOT defeat him in our personal lives and relationships. Such is life.

5) We are part of a fallen race. Every relationship is flawed because there are two flawed persons in it, trying to hold it together. Flesh is weak. We fail to love each other as we should everyday! The law of sin is constantly at work in our members. We cannot defeat this law of sin without the greater law of the Spirit living, actively working in each of us. Such is life.

6) God opposes the proud and arrogant. Our arrogance, our open opposition to God working in our lives may bring God's wrath against us. We may not be fighting sin, Satan, or natural forces. We may be fighting God himself because he opposes all who are proud and arrogant. Or, God may simply leave us mercilessly at the hands of those who would harm us simply to help us see our great need of him. Life (and relationships) can be extremely tough with God on your side. They can be practically impossible without God in your corner. Such is life without God.

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Let's imagine you never suffer from natural disaster. Let's imagine that your life is relatively free from pain and accidents; Satan leaves you alone; you marry someone basically good and moral who treats you decently; and, that you live to be 100 years old!

You still must one day face death. You must then face God in judgment and give him an account of your life. Without God, there is no hope beyond this life. You will stand before him in your sin. You will lose your soul for an eternity. You will no longer be in a pleasant place. You had your reward here. You will get NONE there because your sin is not covered by the blood of Jesus! God will not be mocked. God MUST punish sin! His justice demands it. What will your good life be then and there in comparison to an eternity without him?

God alone grants eternal life. Eternal life is possible only through knowing Jesus and him knowing you!

In comparison to eternity, your existence here is a blip on the radar screen, a mere hiccup.

So, the point is not a great, pain-free and normal life here. The point is a life here that glorifies God and Jesus Christ! The point here is living pleasing to him, loving to yourself and others, because you know you have an eternity to enjoy with him and others who love him, over there!

When we realize life here is not about us, we will begin to truly live! When we begin to truly live, we will begin to truly love ourselves, God, and others because we have the correct perspective on life. Regardless what happens to us here, the harm that living may bring to us, we still truly live because he lives in us!

That, my friend, brings true joy and peace. That is what we are all truly seeking! I thought it was time someone who loves you told you the truth about life!

After many years of counseling, I believe the number one mistake a woman makes with her man is that she does not appreciate fully who he is as a man and what he is providing.

Man is a provider. Most men see their actions as acts of love. Many men are not verbal in their expressions of affection. They are very poor communicators of emotion and feelings. They show love by actions. And, because of this, they are often perceived as unloving and uncaring even though they may be providing all the physical necessities for life: food, clothing, and shelter.

To some degree, men have to remain above their feelings. Men cannot be expected to function well on feelings alone. If so, they would get little accomplished. Rising above their feelings, removing themselves emotionally from a situation, often allows them to carry tremendous responsibilities and endure enormous pressures so as to perform duties and responsibilities. They do not get appreciation enough for this fact. They often cannot understand why their woman is not satisfied with what they can provide. To them, she is often viewed as constantly demanding more. This leaves them frustrated. Many simply give up trying to satisfy her!

Ladies can give me a hundred reasons why a man being like this does not fulfill them emotionally. And, each reason is often valid. Regardless, this is how men are built. This doesn’t mean men can’t learn to get in touch with their sensitive and emotional side. But, frankly, if a man stays there very long he cannot survive and FEELS less of a man. Do you want a man or a wimp?

Learn to appreciate the female. Learn to appreciate the male. Learn to appreciate what each brings to a relationship. This is the greatest challenge in relationships: learning to appreciate what each can contribute.

Encourage your spouse to be all they can be, in the Lord. This is when you will find them happiest and most fulfilled in what they are doing. This may still leave you empty and unfulfilled to some degree. That is why you must rely most on the Lord and allow him to meet your deepest needs. With him, you become less demanding of your spouse.

Love is not being so needy. Love is not being so demanding. Love is assisting the other person in achieving their goals, wishes and dreams.

Your turn to offer input. Here's the question:

In your opinion, what is the most common mistake a MAN makes with his wife that damages the relationship?

If you are a male, then offer what you believe is the most common mistake a WOMAN makes with her husband.

This should be interesting.

Be serious, please.

God humbled me by a series of events. I needed him, at that time, more than ever. There were a lot of unpleasant events he had allowed to come into my life. I was seeking his presence. I was seeking his supernatural peace. I experienced a portion of his peace, on a couple of occasions, and I needed more. I wanted more. I had to have more. It had become like air and water to me. I felt I could not survive without it. I was begging him to give me constant peace. His response always was the same:

“Stay in my will. I’ll give you more.”

In the meantime, a close friend of mine went through an ugly divorce. He drifted far away from the Lord. Then, I met him one day. I noticed a deep change in him. I asked him what was going on. He told me he had recently experienced a filling of the Holy Spirit in a Pentecostal-style church.

I was always skeptical of religious extremism and emotionalism. My approach to God was intellectual. The tongue-speaking, shouting stuff, didn't seem real to me. I went with him a couple of times. I was impressed by the sincerity of everyone. Yet, the altar scenes where persons were knocked backwards, the weeping and wailing, the persons "falling-out” and loud emotional outbursts, it was all a little “over-the-top” for me. I especially didn’t like the speaking in tongues part. It sounded too much like gibberish with no one translating.

I couldn’t deny the change in my friend. He was different. He had become so spiritual. We were both from the same Bible-believing religious tradition. We had been taught all our lives that the Holy Spirit no longer worked the same today, as it did back in New Testament times.

One night in prayer, I inquired specifically about spiritual gifts. I asked the Lord if they were real. He instructed me to go to let this Pentecostal preacher lay his hands on me! I argued with him. I asked him to send me elsewhere, to a charismatic fellowship of my own religious persuasion. He insisted that is was to be THAT church and THAT preacher. I must trust and obey.

I waited until everyone left that evening after services. All that remained were a few musicians and my friend. Then, I decided against it and went to my truck to leave. The preacher had followed me out. He merely wanted to say goodbye and invite me back.

“Leaving already?”

I replied,

“Not yet. Sometime tonight, before I leave, I want you to lay your hands on me.”

He instantly grabbed me by the arm and marched me back inside the building. We headed straight for the altar. He called over my friend and a couple other brethren. They gathered behind me. They began to pray. He turned away from me, anointed his hands with oil, and stretched them toward the heavens. He also prayed. I could not hear plainly what he was saying. (He later told me that he asked God to pour out a FULL MEASURE on me!)

As he turned around, he went to place his hands on me. (I’m not sure that he ever touched me.) I collapsed to the floor. The men caught me and lowered me gently. They also began to pray over me and lay hands on me. They commanded me to relax and to allow God to have his way with me. I tried. Then, it started.

My mouth began to move. The older gentleman to my left observed that I was holding back the impluse and spoke insistently:

“Don’t fight it. Just relax and let it happen.”

My mouth began to move. I began to speak the same gibberish that I had heard from others on previous occasions. When it started, I was immediately filled with the supernatural peace I craved!

The old man leaned close and said,

“Don’t ever let anyone tell you this is not real. I want you to do this everyday.”

I have never spoken publicly about this. It is very personal and private with me. I'm not sure why God is asking me to share this now, in this forum. Maybe it is for someone who also doubts God in this matter.

I believe it was a special gift from God to me. In allowing me to experience it, he poured forth his peace. I’ve never spoken in tongues publicly (if that’s what you want to call it) or in front of another person. To this day, I can't explain what happened to me. I know only that I was obedient and God was faithful.

Is it real? Oh yes, to this day, each time I do it in my prayer closet, he still fills me instantly with that glorious peace I desire, need so much. I wouldn’t trade it for all the world!

Others may be faking. I don’t know. I no longer judge others in these matters.

I also no longer doubt.

This is a most profound statement. God doesn’t just love, God IS love! You and I attempt to love. We are no where close to BEING love. We struggle to be loving. God IS love!

Wherever you are today in your relationship with God, please know that God not only loves you but IS love. I pray that you will begin to experience more fully and comprehend more clearly that God IS love.

If there is no God, there is no love. If there is love, God is. For, God IS love!